I am not trying to say that I am a great mum, but I think I am doing ok. I have a 16 and a 12 year old daughter and we love each other very much. We are in the midst of puberty and we are still talking to each other daily, so that's something, right? My friends tell me that my kids are very easy to get on with and not annoying, even if we stay for a couple of days. This happened the other week, when we stayed with friends in Berlin, which inspired me to write this post.
I admit here, for the first time in public, that I don't like kids, generally speaking.
For many many years I used to work as a waitress in a "family friendly" restaurant in a little village in the south of Germany. On Sundays the place was full of little kids playing hide and seek, while I was trying to balance my tray with 12 hot coffees through the midst of it. Of course I soon realised, that it was not the kids to blame, but the parents for letting them run around in a restaurant, as if they were on a playground. Still it made me dislike kids. They were annoying and loud, and stressed me out.
I always thought my dislike against children would mellow out once I had my own, (yes weirdly enough I always saw myself having kids), but to be honest, it didn't help. There are still only very few kids, apart from my own, that I really like.
Maybe it is because of it, that I love my kids so much. I am who I am around them, and as a result they are very honest back. I might not know everything that is going on in their lives while it happens, but I will eventually. And that is all there is to it. I believe that honesty is the secret to good parenting. It is not always easy and it means you need to say no every now and then, but it will make your kids and yourself better people.
So you don't have to be a kids person to be be a great mum, you just have to be you.